April 3, 2013

GLENWOOD'S CAT’S JOURNAL: April 3, 2013

     Al has asked me to include our dinner party from last night in my Cat’s Journal. Normally, he’d put it in one of his other journals. Like Out Journal or the Glenwood Coffee & Books Journal.
     So, okay, never rest for the weary, yes, we did have a little dinner party last night. Pizza. Daniel and Lauren Goans. Al likes them, but I don’t know–I’m not sure they’re “cat people.” Not that it matters. Humans have got it into their heads that we cats don’t give a damn about them, so it’s good to keep it that way. The truth is of course that we worry like hell about them, incompetent fools that they are. Don’t know shit. Sigh.
     I lay over, “floppy do's,” I call it. They didn’t even notice. Lauren did see me up high on the Coke Refrigerator, where I like to perch. “Al,” she said in her pretty voice, kind of like a cat when you think about it, “I think Glenwood likes to be nearby you.” Well, duh, of course, I have to be nearby him, clumsy ass that he is, I have to keep an eye on him day and night, miserable sucker. You never know what trouble he’ll get into next!
     It took him all day to make the Pizza, set the table, polish the silver. I could have done the whole thing in half an hour! Fortunately, I don’t like Pizza (Tofu – can you believe it?!) . . . Because none was forthcoming. Humans are so rude, hardly ever offer to share. Oh, well, what’s new? I certainly don’t share my food, such as it is, either. In fact, come near to it, and I’ll scratch your eyes out.
     So I flopped over. And gave them a purr or two. Did they notice? Well, Lauren did, at least once or twice. Daniel too busy for a mere cat. Humpf! He’s kind of scruffy, in one of those “human” sorts of ways. Lauren had on a nice sweater-blouse. Very pretty. Nice fur, too, I mean hair. Of course Al’s bald. Of course, compared to cats, humans, you’ll have to forgive me, are ugly! Sorry about that, but cat’s aren’t sentimental, you know.